There’s a quiet, invisible thief who can undermine all our best efforts to create the life we want.
Coaches have special names for this invisible thief. It’s sometimes called “payoff” or “counter-intention”.
It refers to the idea that we might be getting some kind of benefit from NOT getting what we want.
A payoff, from NOT getting our desires?? How does that work?!
Imagine your big dream is to travel the world on a year-long adventure. You plan and research and design itineraries. You get the budget together. You even learn another language. But something always seems to come up that prevents you getting on the plane.
What might the payoff be?
Maybe at the back of your mind is a belief that your sweetie won’t wait for you to come home, or that your career will suffer if you disappear for a year, or that travel can be dangerous. Suddenly, the benefit is obvious. You get to keep your relationship and your career and your person safe.
The reason this is an invisible thief is that so often, it’s unconscious.
So what to do?
Start by amping up the gentle, non-judgemental awareness.
Sometimes, that’s all it takes. The thief becomes visible, and he slinks away. You’ll easily find a way to have your adventure, your sweetie and your career. Maybe sweetie comes with you. Or maybe sweetie is good at long-distance relationships. Maybe travel is the best possible thing for your career. Maybe you can design your trip so you feel safe.
When two desires appear to conflict, resolving them begins with awareness.
And then, you can actively seek a way to get to “both/and” instead of “either/or”.
Instead of “either travel OR sweetie”, you open the door to “both travel AND sweetie”.
You don’t have to know how both desires can be fulfilled – just be open to the idea that Universe can figure this out.
We humans often think we have to control all the moving pieces.
But if you can set your intentions and then point all your manifesting skills and magic at ‘both/and’, you open the door for Universe to deliver stuff you could never have imagined.
The notion that we have to choose between two different desires is a belief; a story being told by our brain.
When you begin to let go of that belief, you open the door for Universe to work miracles.
Has the invisible thief been visiting you?
And if so, have you resolved the payoff?
I’d love to hear examples in the comments below.