As deliberate creators, we get a LOT of advice about what to do with our emotions.
We’re told to allow, allow, allow.
To feel our feelings.
To let them flow so we’re not caught up in resistance.
We’re told that denying and bottling up our feelings is a Bad Thing, and that we need to honour all emotions as sacred.
But we’re also told to seek out the better-feeling thought, to make our way “up” the so-called emotional scale as presented by Abraham-Hicks and others. We’re advised to find the feel-good as much as possible, to put our focus on what brings joy.
We even get told to think positive 24/7, as though experiencing pain or distress – or even merely disliking something – might block our access to the good stuff of life.
What’s a deliberate creator to do??!
It seems like such contradictory advice. The emotion dilemma.
Feel our feelings? Or reach for the feel-good no matter what?
I think the answer is YES and YES. First one, then the other.
Feel the feelings in the moment – whether that means throwing a mini-hissy fit in the privacy of the bathroom, or hiding under the blankets for a good cry, or simply letting the tears flow wherever you are.
As long as we find a safe and appropriate way to express the emotion we’re feeling, then by letting it have its way with us we can usually let it flow through in a very short space of time, even just a few seconds.
Safe and appropriate usually means on our own or with a compassionate witness who won’t engage in our drama; and it means not lashing out at anyone. No injuring innocent bystanders!
And then, only after the emotion has been allowed to flow, it’s time to gently reach for the next better-feeling thought.
Note I didn’t say “good feeling thought”. It just needs to feel a little better. It might even have swear words in it, if we’re moving from despair to anger. The keyword here is RELIEF.
Rinse and repeat.
How do you know when the emotion has had its way with you?
Think of it like your normally-placid cat having one of those crazy tear-around-the-room-for-no-reason moments.
You sit there watching this mad feline frenzy, wondering if you’ve temporarily relocated to a different Universe where your cat is completely bananas, and hoping none of your precious vases goes flying.
And just as suddenly, it’s all over.
Your cat shakes herself and lies back down in the sunny spot.
All is well.
First the feline frenzy, then the peace.
First the emotional release, then the reaching for a better-feeling thought.
If you find yourself struggling to deal with a recurring emotion (if your internal emotional cat does the crazy dance 14 times a day)… then it may be a good time to get some help.